of Pharmaceutical & Homeopathick Remedies — organized by the proprietary McTavish Classification System™, intuitive once you stop expecting it to make sense
| Preparation | Indication(s) | McTavish Classification | Notes from Cletus | Status |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Aspirin | Pain, fever, joint melancholy | Group III-B · Analgesick | A classic. Does the job without making a fuss. | Unverified † |
| Metformin | Type II sugar sickness; excessive sweetness of character | Group II-A · Glycaemick | Cletus notes this one “actually works” — a pleasant surprise. | Current |
| Lisinopril | Elevated blood pressure; cardiac over-excitement | Group IV-C · Cardiovascular | For when the heart refuses to settle down. | Unverified † |
| Atorvastatin | Cholesterine excess; fatty humours of the blood | Group IV-A · Lipidick | Cletus is unsure what a statin is but endorses it “provisionally.” | Current |
| Amoxicillin | Bacterial afflictions; unwanted microbial company | Group VI-A · Anti-Infective | Cletus recommends completing the full course. He does not recommend half-measures in any context. | Unverified † |
| Omeprazole | Acid reflux; stomach that disagrees with its owner | Group V-B · Gastrick | When the stomach starts talking back. | Current |
| Sertraline | Melancholia; existential heaviness; Tuesdays | Group VIII-A · Modern Nervine | Cletus prefers his own Elixir but acknowledges some patients respond better to this. | Current |
| Belladonna Extract | Excessive moistness; hysterical episodes | Group VII · Nightshade Prep. | A preparation of considerable antiquity and considerable promise. | Homeopathick |
| Colloidal Silver | Everything. Truly everything. Cletus has a list. | Group I · McTavish Specials | The only preparation verified for “all known complaints and several theoretical ones.” | Homeopathick |
| Oil of Oregano | General unwellness; suspicious odours; Tuesday complaints | Group IX · Aromatic Therapeutick | Cletus is passionate. Do not get him started. | Homeopathick |
| Willow Bark Tincture | Pain; aches of philosophical origin | Group III-B (adj.) · Botanick | Much like aspirin, but rustic and, in Cletus’s view, more sincere. | Homeopathick |
| Compound Nervine Elixir | Nervous exhaustion; excessive thinking; modern life | Group I · McTavish Specials | Proprietary formula. Ingredients undisclosed by design. | Proprietary |
| Warfarin | Excessive clotting; blood of remarkable determination | Group IV-F · Anticoagulant | Originally a rat poison. Cletus “respects its versatility.” | Caution ‡ |
| Ipecac Syrup | Accidental ingestion of non-food items | Group XIII · Emergencies | No longer recommended. Kept “for historical completeness.” | Obsolete ‡ |
| Melatonin | Sleeplessness; circadian disagreements | Group VIII-C · Chronobiotick | “An internal prescription that needs no refill,” Cletus observes. | Current |
| Cascara Sagrada | Constipation; matters of a reluctant nature | Group X-A · Evacuant | The “sacred bark.” Results are not subtle. | Homeopathick |
| Echinacea Tincture | Common cold; seasonal disagreement with the body | Group IX-B · Aromatic | Cletus’s cold-weather companion. He will not hear criticism at any volume. | Homeopathick |
| Horse Chestnut Extract | Varicose veins; legs of adventurous circulation | Group XII-A · Vascular Botanick | “What the horse does not need, the human often does.” No elaboration. | Homeopathick |
| Gabapentin | Nerve pain; limbs communicating too enthusiastically | Group VIII-B · Neuro-Electrical | Turning down the volume on nerves that won’t stop broadcasting. | Unverified † |
| Hydrochlorothiazide | Water retention; ankles of considerable ambition | Group IV-E · Diuretick | Encourages the body to let go of what it has been holding onto. | Unverified † |
| Peppermint Oil Capsule | Irritable bowel; intestinal opinion | Group X-B · Carminative | Cletus: “the bowel is the body’s most opinionated organ.” This is its mediator. | Homeopathick |
| Potassium Bromide | Epilepsy; excessive excitement | Group VIII-D · Sedative | “A firm hand on a restless shoulder.” | Unverified † |
| Zinc Sulfate Gargle | Sore throat; vocal cord intemperance | Group XI-A · Mineral Prep. | Added March 2022. Classification pending. Cletus is getting to it. | Pending |
| Levothyroxine | Thyroid insufficiency; sluggishness of metabolick humour | Group XI-C · Endocrine | “The organ that never gets enough credit.” | Unverified † |
| Simvastatin | Cholesterine; fatty humours (variant) | Group IV-A (adj.) · Lipidick | Endorsed alongside Atorvastatin. Cletus cannot explain the difference and does not plan to investigate. | Unverified † |
| Amlodipine | Hypertension; vessels of excessive resistance | Group IV-D · Cardiovascular | Cletus notes this compound “relaxes things,” which he considers broadly admirable. | Current |
† Last reviewed: 2009 (2nd Ed.) or earlier · ‡ See print entry for warnings · Full compendium in Volumes I–XIV · Classification system documented in Vol. I (out of print)